Grins & Giggles Hit the Lights A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. “Is it true,” he asked, “that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” “That depends,” replied the guide, “on how fast you carry the flashlight.” WithBells on In Alaska’s National Forests, a tourist guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: “Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting surprise can be catastrophic.” To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. “Also,” he added, “be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings.” One tourist asked, “How do you identify bear droppings?” “Oh, that’s easy,” the guide explained, “they’re the ones with all the tiny bells in them!” Stepping out What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels? Very large ones. In a Hurry A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novocaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.” CSANews | SUMMER 2019 | 51
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