CSANews 119

Grins & Giggles A guy calls the fire department and yells excitedly: “You have to come, now… there’s a fire!” “OK, sir, but please tell us − how do we get to you?” The man asks, puzzled: “What, you don’t have them big red trucks anymore?” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Wife calls her mother: “Today, I fought so much with my husband. I am coming to live with you again. Mother: “No. He should pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – My wife divorced me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about now is how to win her back. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’m getting really claustrophobic in elevators. I’ve had to start taking steps to avoid it. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too short for my weight. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a welldressed man on a bicycle? Attire! Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What do scholars eat when they’re hungry? Academia nuts. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So, we stopped playing chess. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why is the math book so sad? It’s got too many problems! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I wish that COVID-19 had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. CSANews | SUMMER 2021 | 63

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