Grins & Giggles What has a nose and flies, but can’t smell? An airplane! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – It was mealtime on an airplane, and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner. “What are my choices?” the passenger asked. “Yes or no,” she replied. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A woman called an airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” they said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over. This flummoxed the customer: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – The attendant at the Delta Airlines check-in desk said, “window or aisle?” I replied, “Window or you’ll what?” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What sound did the 777 airplane make when it started bouncing up and down? Boeing…Boeing…Boeing… A little girl was at her first golf lesson when she asked an interesting question… “Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T?,” she asked her instructor. “P-U-T-T is correct,” the instructor replied. “P-U-T means to place a thing where you want it. “P-UT-T means merely a futile attempt to do the same thing.” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – During the weekly Lamaze class, the instructor emphasized the importance of exercise, hinting strongly that husbands need to get out and start walking with their wives. From the back of the room, one expectant father inquired, “Would it be okay if she carries a bag of golf clubs while she walks?” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What’s the best part of the fairway to be on? The top – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What do you call a golf ball that goes dead straight down the fairway after you hit it? A miracle! CSANews | WINTER 2021 | 49
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