Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it’s $2.00! I asked the gas station attendant why. Inflation! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Gas prices are so high...that even the coronavirus stopped travelling. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – There was a sign at a gas station that said, “We take Visa, Mastercard, Discover Card and American Express.” After I filled up, they took my Visa, my Mastercard, my Discover Card and my American Express. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Grins & Giggles A health-conscious man got a job as a grocery packer. Every day, he watched customers buy candy, soda, potato chips and processed snacks. He knew that people were damaging their health with these unhealthy food choices. One day, he couldn’t take it anymore. When he saw a customer with his cart full of particularly unhealthy junk food, he decided to intervene. He hid the junk food under the counter and, instead, filled that customer’s bag with fruits, vegetables and water. Later that day, the customer complained. As a result, the manager let the health-conscious man go. The man asked: “Why are you firing me? I just wanted to help!” The manager replied: “Because baggers can’t be choosers.” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Recently, I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits. It’s really all about raisin awareness. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Just been assaulted in a health food shop! Someone threw a massive bottle of cod liver oil tablets at me. Fortunately, I only suffered super fish oil injuries. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’ve been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and well-being of little people. After four long years and multiple studies, I’ve concluded... Six out of seven dwarves aren’t Happy. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Jack loved cake... Jack loved cake so much that every morning, he would drive to the local bakery to get a piece. Jack was married to Edith, who did not like cake. She also didn’t like how fat Jack was getting. Worried for his health, Edith eventually gave him an ultimatum. Jack either had to give up the cake, or she would leave. Now this was a problem. Jack loved cake, but he also loved his wife. Also, he really, really loved the cake. So, the next morning, Jack got up and decided to walk to the bakery instead of driving. He ate the piece and walked back. Seeing that he was at least working out and getting exercise, Jack’s wife decided that this was good enough. And that was how Jack had his cake and Edith too. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – CSANews | FALL 2022 | 57
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MzMzNzMx