Grins & Giggles Golfing Priest A young man and a priest are playing golf together. At a short par 3, the priest asks, ‘What are you going to use on this hole, my son?’ The young man says, ‘An iron, father. How about you?’ The priest says, ‘I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.’ The young man hits his iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, ‘I don’t know about you, father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our heads down.’ Oh, Get Lost Playing as a single, Maurice is preparing to hit his first tee shot. A man in a cheap suit and a name tag reading “Gil” rushes up. “Sir, excuse me!” Gil exclaims as Maurice stops mid-backswing. “Don’t hit before you see this amazing golf ball.” “Fine,” Maurice says, clearly annoyed. “But make it quick.” “Thank you, sir,” Gil says. “You see, this golf ball is impossible to lose.” “You’re kidding, right?” Maurice scoffs. “What if you hit into a water hazard?” “Actually, the ball floats,” Gil responds proudly. “Plus, it senses the shore and spins toward dry land.” Maurice, still skeptical, says, “OK, what if it goes into the woods?” “No problem,” Gil answers. “The ball beeps so you can locate it right away.” “Pretty cool” Maurice admits. “But what if it gets dark while you’re playing?” “Ah,” Gil replies triumphantly, “it also glows in the dark! I told you, this ball is impossible to lose.” “Well, I’ll be darned,” Maurice says, finally impressed. “May I ask where you got it?” “Yeah, see, the thing about that is,” Gil stammers, “I found it.” Quick Laughs Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What has a nose and flies but can’t smell? An airplane. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – My friend started a business selling airplanes. It’s really starting to take off. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – My dad really wanted me to make paper planes with him. Eventually I folded. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – My cat constantly looks at me like I just asked her to give me a ride to the airport. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What happens when winter arrives? Autumn leaves! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What did the icy road say to the car? “Want to go for a spin?” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – CSANews | FALL 2023 | 49
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