Grins & Giggles Witty little knitter A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the highway. Looking at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!” “No!” the woman yelled back, “Cardigan!” Concrete humour What happens when a fish hits concrete? It says, “Dam!” – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I tried to make a joke about cement, but it didn’t set well with the audience. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why did the dad cement block become a comedian? He wanted to build a ‘foundation’ of laughter! – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why did the retired cement contractor start a comedy club? He had a lifetime of ‘concrete’ experiences to share! – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What do you get when you crash a cement truck into a bus full of convicts? A bunch of hardened criminals. Solar fun A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I have a pun about wind energy. But it blows. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? “No sun.” – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – How do solar panels like their eggs? Sunny-side up. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What do wind turbines think of renewable energy? They’re big fans. Driving distractions What part of the car is the laziest? The wheels, because they are always tired. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why are pigs bad drivers? They hog the road! – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why do chicken coops have only two doors? If they had four, they would be chicken sedans. – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What did the tornado say to the sports car? “Want to go for a spin?” – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I always adjust the seat and mirrors when I drive my husband’s car so that he doesn’t forget he’s married. CSANews | SPRING 2024 | 49
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