Grins & Giggles Who says men don’t remember? A couple were out Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed and, as the wife walked around, she was surprised to discover that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was. In a quiet voice he said: “Do you remember the jewellers we went into about five years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?” The wife choked up and started to cry and said: “Yes, I do remember that shop.” He replied: “Well, I’m in the pub next door!” Eat whatever you like, because… The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54. The inventor of gymnastics died at age 57. The world bodybuilding champion died at age 41. The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at 60. On the other hand… The KFC inventor died at 94. The inventor of Nutella died at 88. The inventor of Hennessy died at 98. How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when the rabbit – which is always jumping – lives for around two years, and the turtle – that doesn’t exercise at all – lives for more than 200 years. So, rest, relax, eat, drink and enjoy life! Wise golfer A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. “These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained. “These fairways seem to be getting longer,” said one of the others. “The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them,” said the third golfer. After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest and wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said… “Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful that we’re still on the right side of the grass!” No reservations On vacation in Hawaii, my stepmom Sandy called a café to make reservations for 7 p.m. Checking her book, the cheery young hostess said, “I’m sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?” “That’s fine,” Sandy said. “Okay,” the woman confirmed. Then she added, “Just be advised that you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table.”’ Travel fun “I love when flies won’t leave my car on long road trips. Have fun moving to Florida, tiny pest.” – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves? The road! – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? They’d get called for travelling! – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it. CSANews | WINTER 2024 | 49
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