Grins & Giggles Granddad comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grandchildren, seems tomake every effort to avoid them this day. His son notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks himwhy this is so. Immediately, the old man whisks his prescription out of his pocket and hands it to his son. The grandfather said, “Read that label. That’s why!” The son takes the bottle and reads, “Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.” A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, “Of course.” To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. He doesn’t hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Furthermore, the oldmanmoves along without wasting any time. When they reach the ninth fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. A large pine tree sits in front of his ball, directly between it and the green. After several minutes pondering how to hit the shot, the old man says, “You know, when I was your age, I’d hit the ball right over that tree.” With the challenge before him, the young man swings hard, hits the ball, watches it fly into the branches, rattle around, and land with a thud a foot from where it had started. “Of course,” says the oldman, “when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.” It was a sunny Sunday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. “Would the gentleman on the ladies’ tee please back up to the men’s tee.” Murray remained in his routine, seemingly unfazed by the interruption. A little louder: “Would the man on the women’s tee kindly back up to the men’s tee!” Murray raised up out of his stance, lowered his driver, and shouted, “Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?” It’s WORTHa shot! CONSIDER the source DOCTOR’Sorders Answers to Outside the Box Puzzles: 1. (Having) an open mind 2. Hush money 3. Niagara Falls 4. Knowing right from wrong 5. Income tax 6. Fork it over CSANews | SPRING 2016 | 45
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