Grins & Giggles Jack wants to go GOLFING! Four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St. Andrews for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Jack’s wife puts her foot down and tells him that he isn’t going. Jack’s mates are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do? Two days later, the three get to St. Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! “Wow, Jack, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?” “Well, I’ve been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, ‘Guess who?’. I pulled her hands off and there she was, wearing a nightie. She tookmy hand and pulledme into our bedroom. The roomhad candles and rose petals all over. Well she’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey…on the bed, she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.” And then she said, ‘Do whatever you want.’” “So... here I am!” TELL ME what you want! A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying a drink with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome man enters. He is so striking that the woman cannot take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks directly toward her. Before she can offer her apologies for rudely staring, he leans over and whispers, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $20. But only on one condition.” Flabbergasted, the woman asks what the condition is. “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.” The woman considers his proposition for a moment and then removes a $20 bill from her purse, which she presses into the man’s hand along with her address. She then looks deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully says, “Clean my house!” Strong Man CONTEST A strong, young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and challengeme to a strength competition,” he said. “I will bet an entire week’s pay that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.” “You’re on, old man. Let’s see what you got,” the young boaster replied. The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right, hop in.” CSANews | SUMMER 2016 | 49
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